Landon 12 days

Well it is my due date! But I am so glad to have a 12 day old baby boy in my arms. Things are getting on a good schedule: eating, diaper change, playing, sleeping. He cries when necessary, usually if hungry or being changed. Overall, a perfect child. My incision is starting to feel better and my nipples are getting used to feeding. So far the left side is good but the right still gives me trouble so I am pumping the right and feeding with the left for now. Thankfully my milk is flowing well and I havent had any trouble breastfeeding other than the soreness, which everyone says will go away by around 2 weeks! Its definitely been different getting on a baby schedule. Taylors sleeping habits have come in handy. He takes the late night shift and I pick up around 3 am. I was able to get some sleep last night but I still wake up when Landon cries... Maternal instinct I guess. Like I have said before, it has come really natural to take care of my son. I love being a mom so far. I cant believe I am the one, well Taylor and I are the ones, who will teach him how to crawl and walk, and talk and tie his shoes. Taylor will teach him soccer and we will do math problems with him. We wil teach him how to drive a car and take pictures of him at his prom. Gosh... My life will never be the same. What a blessing! I just love him so much. My mom always told me that I'll never understand how much love I have in my heart until I have a child of my own. Its so true. I cry a lot now over nothing. Just looking at him, trying to sing to him and being so overjoyed when he uses his neck during tummy time. I am such a proud parent and it really brings tears to my eyes. I am also so lucky to have Taylor. I feel more love for him than ever before and I know he will love me and take care of me until I die. We decided we wanted to get married this year. I just dont think I can wait. I want to be an Albritton! It seems like the last name would make us complete. I want to be apart of him for as long as I live!

So here are the things that make me so in love with my son that I dont want to forget:
His little noises when he sleeps and eats
The faces he makes after hes eaten and hes sooo satisfied with a full tummy
Him looking into my eyes
Singing songs to him
The way he smells
When he smiles in his sleep and I can see his dimples
When his little hand wraps around my finger
Having him sleep on my chest- seriously the best feeling in the world!
Being able to feed him with my body
Knowing there is no one else like him in the world
And honestly, this will sound so super cheeseball, but I really love looking at him, studying him, and just remembering that he will never be this small again, and cherishing the moments I have with him right now.


Gosh, I love him so much! I am reading a book on getting closer to God through prayer and the first chapter quotes a scripture that talks about loving Jesus more than your spouse, parents and children. I had the same thought and dilemma as the author, how can I love God more than I love my son? I got to thinking about it and thought that God loves us as his children and he gives us children so we can get a glimpse of that love. But the love I have for Landon isnt comparable to the love God has for us. Just like I had to experience this kind of love only when I had a child of my own, God want us to experience his love because he is our own God as well. Then I started thinking about how I have been so blessed this past year. Reuniting with Taylor then moving in and having a baby... All seems way out of wack, but I know that this happened for a reason. God has blessed me with everything I have ever wanted and I cant figure out why. So to go back to that scripture, and relating it to other scripture that says everything on this earth belongs to the Lord, I must say that Landon is not mine. He is a gift from God. God gave me Landon and he gave me Taylor and it is my job to take care of them the best why I can. At the end of the day, if these two perfect guys are taken out of my life, I have to remember that God has a plan and that I have to trust in him. I had to trust that he would allow Taylor and I to make a good family. I had to trust that he would allow me to heal from the death of Kobi. And now I have to trust that he will provide me with what I need to take care of my baby boy. I really just want to cry all of the time. Just because I am so happy. And so blessed. I have never felt more love in my life as I do right now. I know it might not always be like this but I never want to forget this moment. I want this to be in the back of my mind when things get rough: God will always have my back. For years I knew that logically, but never felt it until now. I want to always remember this feeling.

Ok, I will stop being so emotional now. Thanks for reading and Ill post again soon! Taylors family will be here this week/weekend to help. We are so grateful to have so much help and support!!! Everyone loves Landon, because he is sooo freaking cute! And I am not just saying that because I am his mom. He really is the most cutest, perfect child ever!

Love,

Alyssa, Taylor and Landon